“…how we relate in the inner world will be how we relate in the outer. If we can appreciate and compassion for our parts, even for the ones we’ve considered enemies, we can do the same for people who resemble them. On the other hand, if we hate of disdain our parts, we’ll do the same with anyone who reminds us of them.”
“…as soon as the burdens leave parts’ bodies, parts immediately transform into their original, valuable states. It’s as if a curse was lifted from an inner Sleeping Beauty, or ogre, or addict. The newly unburdened part almost universally says it feels much lighter and wants to play or rest, after which it finds a new role. The former addict part now wants to help you connect with people…each part is like a person with a true purpose.”
“When we blend with burdened parts, we lose all sense of this connectedness and feel separate from one another and from spirit —alone and lonely…After they are burdened, our parts feel lonely and disconnected from one another and from our Self. They don’t realize they are all affected by what happens to each other and are loved by Self. Neither do we.”
“…the Self is already buff with compassion. It merely needs to be released not strengthened.”
“…neither parts nor people are inherently flawed or destructive…We all have these parts. And they’re all valuable until they become burdened and are forced into distorted roles by what happened early in our life…parts aren’t afflictions and they aren’t ego. They’re little inner beings who are trying their best to keep you safe and to keep each other safe and to keep it together in there…It’s the natural state of the mind to have parts—they are not the product of trauma or of internalizing external voices or energies. It’s just the way we’re build, and that’s good because all of our parts have valuable qualities and resources to give us…the simple act of turning your focus inside and beginning to listen and talk to them and let them know they aren’t alone—because you are there to care for them—is quite radical and so welcome to that inner orphanage.”
“Within each of us is a wise, compassionate essence of goodness that knows how to relate harmoniously. In addition, we’re not one messed-up mind, but an internal system of parts. Sure, these parts can sometimes be disruptive or harmful, but once they’re unburdened, they return to their essential goodness. And because this is true, each of us has a clear path in front of us to access and lead our lives—inner and outer—from that essence. In doing so, we realize the basic truth of interconnectedness on all levels, and the natural result of that realization is compassion and courageous action.”
“…compassion is the ability to be in Self with somebody when they’re hurting and feel for them, but not be overwhelmed by their pain. You can only do that if you’ve done it within yourself.”
Richard Schwartz, No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma & Restoring Wholeness with The Internal Family Systems Model
